Looking Forward to Better Days

Hi all

I know I am a bit late on my updates regarding my workout and all, will update soon though.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I went to shoot two competitions, I forfeited the first one as it started raining and it is seriously no fun for me to be soaking wet and shooting, especially since my hair just loves to soak up all that water and stream down my face like a freaking waterfall. So yeah not fun, and a wet bow is not nice either, it’s all slippery and whatnot. So while everyone else soaked up the rain and shooting, I chilled with my friend while we sorted out the rest of the stuff and had some wine. 

This weekend was about good times and goodbyes as she and her hubby moved to another place far away from here, so now I gotta save up to go visit them sometime. Really gonna miss them, it won’t ever be the same now, and they are one of a kind irreplaceable friends and great people with awesome personalities. 

So the next day’s shoot was pretty cool, I shot a 199 and got first place, with ten 11’s whoop! And one stupid 5. Wish that 5 was an 8. Anyway was a good comeback haha, just gotta keep it up again. 

At the end of the month there will be another double shoot. So wish me luck. My shooting partner in crime won’t be there anymore though. 😦 super sad. 

I also really want to save up for my tradional longbow, just hard times though but hopefully next year I’ll be able to get it. Been wanting this for a long time now, but yeah I have a hell lot of other stuff right now that takes priority above all else. As usual. Nothing new there.

God speaking off money and shit, I freaking hate it when people demands money from you over the phone for like good causes and stuff, but they won’t listen if you tell them you’re only 23 yrs old, have a suckish salary, need to pay vet bills and still they want your money. Like bitch are you freaking deaf! I have jack shit, and you still want me to give you money. 

Really I don’t get how people think sometimes, do they want you to suck it out of your thumb or what the actual fuck? Makes me crazy, then they ask if they can call you again at the end of the next month to see if you then have money to offer…  Are you serious!! Go Away!

The vet bill continue the end of the month as I need to spay my girl. I took her last month, but turns out she was sick (begin stages luckily) and is now on meds so my bill doubled since then. By the end of October I have to get new contact lenses again. So now the total bills are trippled. *cries* every single time I plan on saving for something I want, something else comes up that is far more important than whatever I want, because whatever I need takes priority above what I want. *cries again* meantimes I see everyone else around me getting everything they want in a blink of an eye and here I am fighting on a daily basis just to keep my sanity, so that maybe one day will be a better day. 

I’m at that point again, wondering why I still try to be positive, when so many negativite things happen that are out of my hands, I can’t do anything about it… Just yet, but I wish I could. But soon maybe I will be able to do something.

Feels like all that is good in my life, is somehow drifting away and out of my reach. Like everyone and everything is moving forward, while I’m stuck in this time loop, in one place, same shit every day and the anxiety and panic just gets worse. I hold onto positive thoughts, but even those get lost sometimes.

Anyway enough of that, or I’m genuinely gonna tear up right here, right now.

Looking forward to better days, and I will be positive about my choices, it has to be the right thing to do, because it’s the only way I’ll pull through in the end. Never give up, right? Just keep going. Keep dreaming, believing and make it happen.
Good night pretty people.

– CdP


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